Melinda Fights Back 

By Jennifer Smith

Every once in a while, a book comes along that feels like it has been written just for us. Its message has a power that resonates even after we have finished reading the words. Speak by Laurie Halse Anderson is one of those books that just stays with you, a powerful and thought-provoking book that explores the reality of sexual assault and its aftermath. The novel is written from the perspective of Melinda, a high school freshman who has been traumatized by a sexual assault at a party. It is this event that silences her voice and isolates her from her peers. Through her eyes, we see the impact of the assault on her mental health, relationships, and academic performance. Anderson's writing is raw and honest, capturing the complexity of Melinda's emotions as she struggles to find her voice and come to terms with what has happened to her. The book is a poignant reminder of the importance of speaking out against sexual violence and the need for greater awareness and support for survivors. It is a must-read for anyone seeking to understand the devastating effects of sexual assault and the power of speaking up. In the book there are various factors made it difficult to speak about her assault. However, there are also various factors that become essential to her healing and to finally finding her voice.

One of the factors that made it hard for Melinda to speak was the lack of support and understanding from her family and friends. Her parents are distant and busy with their own problems, and they rarely communicate with Melinda or show interest in her life. They often criticize her for her grades, appearance, and attitude, but they never ask her how she feels or what she needs. Her former friends also abandoned her after she called the police at the party, without knowing the reason why she did it. They spread rumors about her and call her names, such as "Squealer" and "Freak". They also ignore or mock her when she tries to reach out to them or warn them about Andy. Melinda feels alone and betrayed by the people who should have cared for her, and she thinks that no one would believe her or help her if she told them the truth. Melinda is afraid of the consequences of speaking out.

Another factor that made it difficult for Melinda to speak was the shame and guilt that she felt about her rape. Melinda feels ashamed of what happened to her. This shame is evident in the following quote: "I am outcast" (Anderson 4).  She blames herself for what happened, and she thinks that she deserved it because she was drunk, naive, or weak. She also fears that people would judge her or blame her for being raped. She fears that no one will believe her, that she will be blamed for what happened, or that she will be ostracized by her peers. This fear is evident in the following quote from the book: "I want to confess everything, hand over the guilt and mistake and anger to someone else...but I can't" (Anderson 13). According to t Judith Herman, the “conflict between the will to deny horrible events and the will to the will to proclaim them aloud is the central dialectic of psychological trauma (McGhee 174-175). Rather than speaking out about her assault, Melinda internalizes the negative messages that society sends to rape survivors, such as "It's your fault", "You asked for it", or "You should have fought back". She also suffers from post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), which causes her to have nightmares, flashbacks, and panic attacks whenever she sees or hears something that reminds her of her rape. She tries to cope by avoiding anything that triggers her memories, such as mirrors, closets, parties, or Andy himself. She also cuts herself with a paperclip or bites her lips until they bleed, as a way of expressing or numbing her pain. She feels trapped in her own body and mind, and she thinks that speaking would only make things worse.

However, despite these obstacles, Melinda eventually finds some factors that help her heal and find her voice. One of these factors is art. Melinda has a passion for drawing and painting, and she finds an outlet for her emotions in her art class. Her teacher, Mr. Freeman, encourages her to express herself through a year-long project on a tree. Melinda struggles at first to create a realistic and meaningful representation of a tree, but she gradually improves as she experiments with different styles and techniques. Mr. Freeman also supported Melinda and praised her for her courage and talent. He told her, "You've been through a lot, haven't you? ... You've created something very powerful, very beautiful here" (Anderson 198). She uses her art as a way of communicating, such as when she draws a mural of a tree on the wall of her closet. The tree represents her growth and healing after being raped by Andy Evans at a party. She starts with a dead tree, symbolizing her trauma and silence, and gradually adds leaves and branches as she gains confidence and courage. The mural is her way of expressing herself and reclaiming her voice. According to Jessi Snider, “Art therapy is about the process and not the product. In a therapeutic sense, if there is no emotion in a work, there is no point in creating it” (308). Art helps Melinda reconnect with herself and with the world around her, and it gives her a sense of purpose and identity.

 Her burgeoning friendship with David Petrakis, Melinda’s Lab partner, also helps her to find her voice David is one of the few people who treats her with respect and kindness. His willingness to stand up to Mr. Neck, the history teacher, shows Melinda that speaking up is important, no matter the consequences.

Finally, the last factor that is essential to Melinda is her own courage. The final confrontation with Andy Evans forces Melinda to find her courage and fight back against him. It is in the closet where she hides out during lunch and school that Andy finds her. This time, however, Melinda fights back finally finding her voice and screaming, "NNNNOOO!!!" (Anderson 195). By doing so, Melinda reclaimed her power and agency, and broke the silence that had oppressed her for so long. By the end of the book, we can see that Melinda is on her way to begin the healing process with her last words spoken to Mr. Freeman, “Let me tell you about it” (Anderson 198).

In conclusion, Melinda faces numerous obstacles in speaking out about her rape, including fear, shame, and trauma. However, with the help of self-expression, supportive people, and courage, she is able to find her voice and begin the healing process. This novel is a testament to the resilience of survivors and the power of speaking out.

 

Works Cited

Anderson, Laurie Halse. Speak / 20th Anniversary Edition. Square Fish, Farrar Straus Giroux,

2019.

McGee, Chris.  “Why Won’t Melinda Just Talk about What Happened? Speak and the

Confessional Voice.  Children’s Literature Association Quarterly, vol. 34, no. 2, 2009,

pp. 172-187.  Project Muse, doi.org/10.1353/chq.).1909.

Snider, Jessi. “‘Be the Tree’: Classical Literature, Art Therapy, and Transcending Trauma in

Speak.” Children’s Literature in Education, vol. 45, no. 4, 2014, pp. 298–309,

https://doi.org/10.1007/s10583-014-9221-3.

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